[Grimm_Wolfe]

(12-23-2016, 08:51 PM)Nether_Ruler Wrote: Shit Grimm Does

Much like "Shit Grimm Says", I'm more or less the store's jokester.  Usually, I make dirty jokes or other random shit for entertainment.

- For those of you who don't know, sour cream in the food industry is dispensed via a device that look like a caulking gun; the sour cream comes in canisters.  Antman, will hand me a food item and just say, "cream it".  Sometimes, I'll rub the length of the sour cream gun up and down before firing a load of sour cream onto the food item.  Antman will look me in the face and say one of four things, "Boy, you're so fucking retarded", "You stupid", "You're not right", or "I can't stand working with you at times". xD

- If you maneuver a sour cream gun just right when you dispense a measured amount of sour cream, you can get it to look like a sperm cell.  Lowkey sperm for some meals.  I'm not the only one who does this. xP

- As the night goes on, the refried beans can get a little dry and have a more playdough like consistency.  Sometimes, if I'm told to throw them out, I'll take a small ball and roll it to look like shit before placing it at someone's work station. xP

- A cashier, who will be named TV, and I have had this prolonged prank war going for some time now.  It started when I scared the shit out of him.  The windows at my store get cleaned daily, both inside and outside.  Well, TV was cleaning the outside surface of the windows.  The windows have these black mesh screen to block out sunlight during the day and they roll up or down via a pull-chain.  If it's clear and bright outside, you can't see through the mesh screen into the building but you can see outside.  Well, as TV was cleaning, I got in position to scare him; I yanked the pull-chain hard, pulling the screen up fast, and slammed against the window.  He proceeded to have to chase me through the kitchen with a spraybottle of window cleaner. xD

- Another story involving TV and I.  Sometimes, TV will purposely bump into me lightly as he walks past.  Well, one day, I had dropped some sour cream and lettuce on my right shoe, and he bumped into me.  As he came back, I feigned a kick at him and he got scared for a moment because he knows I do martial arts.  What he didn't notice was the glob of sour cream and lettuce across his chest and arm.  When I point it out, he wiped it off on my apron and smacked a guacamole-covered spoon he was taking to the sink on my back.