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1st Shift Tales
#60
Grimmiel Iglesias
I was working with Sharp today and I was talking about one of my favorite comedians, Gabriel Iglesias.  Turns out Sharp loves his skits and I happen to know a good deal of them from memory.  I started reciting some of his skits and had Sharp nearly busting a side from laughter.  I recited jokes from his shows: "I'm Not Fat, I'm Fluffy", "Aloha, Fluffy", and "I'm Sorry for What I Said When I Was Hungry".  One of Sharp's favorite jokes is the racist gift-basket one.

That's Not My Name!
Well, Lamb and I are like siblings in some ways, always trying to find new ways to mess with one another.  Lamb's taken to changing my name around in an attempt to mess with me.  I've been hitting back with the same strategy.  Now, Maria, Lamb's mom, is also taken to this little game of ours.   We're trying to find names for Sharp and have failed miserably, nothing rhymes with her damn name. xD

FML (NSFW)

People who know me should know I've been sick for the past two weeks about.  Major upper-respiratory infection that's causing me expectorate a shit-ton of mucus from my lungs.  Well, whatever I ate didn't agree with me today, so I had to use the restroom twice while on shift.  Unfortunately for me, as I'm sitting on the toilet, I had a major coughing fit and had to spit a loogie up with almost no warning.  Well, I didn't have time to grab any tissue and the rubbish bin's too far away, so I tried to spit this crap between my legs into the bowl.  It missed.  It hit the thin rim of the fucking bowl, slid forward, and dropped into my god damn pants... This was pretty much my face, as I had to dig this crap out of my pants.

Mashed Potatoes
Mashed potatoes seems to be recurring theme at my donut shop, I have two stories to tell.

#1: This is my dumbass self not realizing something.  When I first started working at the store, I noticed this large tupperware container in fridge full of a paste, which looked exactly like mashed potatoes.  I just assumed it was someone's lunch and went about my way.  One weeks, still there; two weeks, still; etc.  I was had to ask, "When are we throwing out the mashed potatoes in the fridge?"  Sharp and Maria looked at me weird, and inquired into what mashed potatoes.  I realized then that what I assumed was mashed potatoes was actually cookie dough for our cookies. (/_-) I felt so stupid.

#2: This happened over Thanksgiving.  Lamb and I started talking about cooking, and I stated that I had to cook mashed potatoes for our meal.  Well, Lamb boasted that her mashed potatoes were top-tier and asked for my recipe for comparison.  I talked about how I cooked my garlic in a pan with butter until it browned, and then deglazed the browning from the pan with half-&-half, which then gets added to the potatoes, along with sour cream, home-made bacon bits, salt, pepper, and other spices.  Lamb just looked at me and immediately conceded that I won. xD
[Image: MlZF3GH.png]
"C'mon, let's keep it simple, huh?  He broke the rules, I banned him."

HomeTown Rulebook

 
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Messages In This Thread
1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 09-11-2017, 05:20 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Oshakai - 09-11-2017, 05:43 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by TheNamesGames - 09-11-2017, 12:28 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by AcoustiXkey - 09-22-2017, 02:35 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Oshakai - 09-11-2017, 09:11 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by TheOnlyKat - 09-11-2017, 09:56 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Penguin - 09-12-2017, 12:02 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 09-12-2017, 12:24 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Oshakai - 09-12-2017, 12:41 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Star - 09-12-2017, 12:47 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 09-12-2017, 07:57 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by miumiaou - 09-12-2017, 02:18 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 09-12-2017, 10:52 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Oshakai - 09-12-2017, 11:07 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 09-14-2017, 04:04 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by TheNamesGames - 09-14-2017, 11:03 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 09-15-2017, 06:52 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Penguin - 09-15-2017, 01:45 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 09-17-2017, 03:56 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Penguin - 09-21-2017, 11:54 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by TheNamesGames - 09-22-2017, 12:52 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Star - 09-22-2017, 02:20 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 09-22-2017, 04:24 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 10-13-2017, 04:20 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Star - 10-13-2017, 04:38 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 10-13-2017, 05:14 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 10-16-2017, 01:18 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by TheNamesGames - 10-16-2017, 01:32 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 10-16-2017, 07:24 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by TheNamesGames - 10-16-2017, 08:14 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 10-17-2017, 12:20 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Pemigrade - 10-18-2017, 12:04 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Kcalifornia - 10-22-2017, 10:35 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by TheNamesGames - 10-17-2017, 12:52 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 10-23-2017, 11:17 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by TheNamesGames - 10-24-2017, 12:17 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 10-24-2017, 04:15 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 11-06-2017, 07:48 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 11-06-2017, 09:41 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by TheNamesGames - 11-06-2017, 10:12 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 11-07-2017, 12:09 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Oshakai - 11-06-2017, 10:23 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Dinogirl2468 - 11-06-2017, 11:32 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by ak_orange_peel - 11-08-2017, 02:50 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 11-09-2017, 05:18 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by TheNamesGames - 11-09-2017, 01:29 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 11-10-2017, 06:12 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by TheNamesGames - 11-10-2017, 06:19 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 11-10-2017, 06:47 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 11-11-2017, 04:08 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by TheNamesGames - 11-11-2017, 04:54 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 11-11-2017, 06:45 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Geckorian - 11-14-2017, 12:32 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 11-14-2017, 06:31 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Star - 11-14-2017, 07:15 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by TheFabNova - 11-14-2017, 08:14 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 11-16-2017, 05:24 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 12-05-2017, 06:29 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Penguin - 12-06-2017, 03:27 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 12-07-2017, 08:48 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by The_4thdoctor - 12-07-2017, 02:25 PM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Penguin - 12-08-2017, 07:12 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Grimm_Wolfe - 12-14-2017, 09:31 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by Penguin - 12-15-2017, 02:11 AM
RE: 1st Shift Tales - by ThatChicken1 - 01-09-2018, 09:02 AM

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