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Third Shift Tales
#1
Tongue 
For those of you who don’t know, one of my jobs is a fast food worker.  I have worked in this industry since August 2015 and I have seen/heard some shit.  After seeing the response to my story about the heroin addict on the forums, I’ve decided I’d share some stories or observations for those who are interested.  Much in the fashion of George Orwell’s novel, “Down and Out in Paris and in London”, I will tell all the dirty details and stories of working the food service industry.  I’m looking for a new job now, so I figured I’d spill the beans on anything you all want to know.  Feel free to ask any questions, too.
 
That being said, I have too many stories to type up so I’ll give my stories’ titles for you all to choose and I’ll tell that story.  The names of the people involved will be changed accordingly for privacy’s sake.
 
Titles to choose (subject to change):
 
(12/21/16)
Don’t Fight the Third Shift
Fresh Food, the Lies We Tell
Boats and Hoes
Shit My Managers Say (NSFW)
Shit the Customers Say (NSFW)
Shit My Managers Do (NSFW)
Shit the Customers Do (NSFW)
The True Twoface
Mrs. Touchdown
Mrs. Impatient
Mr. and Mrs. Opinion
The Waffle Syrup
The Liar
The Liar II
If I Fits, I Sit
The Chokehold
Gotta Go Fast!
Punchout!... Almost
Found the Helium!
The Manager, The Minor, and Marriage
Don’t Raise Minimum Wage
Quick Substitutions
Deep Fried Sauce
The Smell of Poop
Baby Shit in My Eye
Pinkeye, Strep, and Fuck You
(Update)
Shit Grimm Says (NSFW/NSFL)
Shit Grimm Does (NSFW)
Shit My Coworkers Say (NSFW)
Shit My Coworkers Do (NSFW)
(Update 12/22/16)
Fish Tacos (NSFW)
The Sour Cream Explosion
(Update 12/24/16)
The Rat Penis
"I'm sorry, Sir, but we're out of _"
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"C'mon, let's keep it simple, huh?  He broke the rules, I banned him."

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#2
SHIT THE CUSTOMERS DO

I CaN RELATEEE
Human embodiment of Murphy’s Law, at your service!
 
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#3
(12-22-2016, 02:02 AM)Star Wrote: SHIT THE CUSTOMERS DO

- Alright, the amount of people who seem to subside on sauce packets is astounding.  Everyday, we have customers who seems to come into the store to just take sauce packets.  It's gotten so bad that we have to restrict sauce packets in the lobby.  There have been multiple times when a customer will make an order and decide to leave it because we ran out of a certain type of sauce, they usually say, "If I knew you did not have this sauce, I wouldn't have ordered anything!" before angrily storming away.

- The amount of people who piss and shit on our floors is astounding during late night.  I don't know if it's a child, a drunkard, an angry customer, or some angst-filled teen.  Regardless, you don't know struggle until you pick up hot shit off the floor and mop up piss.  You quit when it's diarrhea.

- One night, when I was taking out the trash, there were two customers filming stuff on their phones in the parking lot.  One of them runs up to the door, opens it, and yells, "Fuck you all!" before dashing to his Mustang and peeling off while his friend filmed him.

- You know how some restaurants have child booster seats?  Yeah, a teen got their ass stuck in one when they sat in it, their friends just laughed.

- The amount of drunk and high people we get through our drive-thru provides us with endless entertainment.  One of my co-workers, we'll call him Big T had to hand an order out.  Big T then told me, "Yo, this woman looked like a demon with her red eyes."  We also had a high person come through and get his order, and then come back claiming we forgot his order though a manager counted it out to be sure.  He may have eaten them and forgotten about it.  The scary thing is how drunk and red-faced people can be when they come through the drive-thru, yet they drive better than most people when they leave.
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"C'mon, let's keep it simple, huh?  He broke the rules, I banned him."

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#4
Mrs. Touchdown omg
Human embodiment of Murphy’s Law, at your service!
 
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#5
(12-22-2016, 02:18 AM)Star Wrote: Mrs. Touchdown omg

Okay, on July 4th, we were slammed with a large rush of people, as our store was next to a fairgrounds for the July 4th fireworks show in my town.  A woman ordered a burrito with extra, extra, extra sauce.  This amounts to something close to 1/4 cup of watery sauce folded into a burrito.  We carefully fold this thing and hand it out.  Five minutes pass, the woman returns, "Can I have a remake on this burrito?  It's leaking".  Well, the burrito is practically swimming and it's not waterproof at all, we remake it anyway though it's futile effort.  Again, we fold it carefully and hand it out.  The woman inspects it, leaves, and returns two minutes later, "Can a get bowl for this burrito since you guys don't know how to fold a damn burrito?!"  The poor, teenaged cashier goes to get this delightful woman a bowl, and he returns to a burrito splattered across the length of the counter and woman is nowhere to be seen.  Another customer tells the cashier the lady spiked the burrito in a way that would impress the NFL.
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"C'mon, let's keep it simple, huh?  He broke the rules, I banned him."

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#6
The Liar
Human embodiment of Murphy’s Law, at your service!
 
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#7
Quick Substitutions ... ;3
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problems." - Captain Jack Sparrow"

 
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#8
(12-22-2016, 02:31 AM)Star Wrote: The Liar

This story revolves around a customer and one of my favorite managers, she'll be known as "County".

For those of you who don't know, chain restaurants will remake orders from other stores.  People abuse this though.  There was a woman who called our store and tell the manager very nicely something like, "Hello, I'm sorry to be calling you at this hour, but one of the other stores got my order wrong and I was wondering if I could get it remade?"  The customer was very nice, her order was very small, and the store she talked about is notoriously known for bad customer service; everything she said sounded good at face value and County was known for excellent customer service.  We must have remade this woman's order on five different occasions, which raised red flags for County.  Also, some stores may forget to give you a receipt, but this woman never had any receipt for her food.  County called up the other store and asked if a woman came through with her order, as our store is less than 8min away from the other one.  Eventually, County figured out the woman was lying the whole time to get small orders of free food for snacks.  When County confronted her about this, the woman ran off.

(12-22-2016, 02:32 AM)Feladina Wrote: Quick Substitutions ... ;3

Have you ever noticed how sometimes your order will have bits of food you didn't want in it?  There's a reason for this.  Usually, it's simply because some ingredients fell into others, other times it's because we had to substitute something in.

- One time, we ran out of one chunky, tomato based sauce used for a food item and it would take 30min to warm some more up.  One of my favorite coworkers, who will be called Princess, came up with a good solution. "Why don'tcha use some salsa?"  We used salsa that night.

- Wrong type of cheese on your food item?  The managers didn't want to open up a whole new container of that cheese, so they just throw whatever cheese is on hand on top of it.

- For those you who don't know, most meat products in fast food are reheated via a large machine filled with hot water and steam.  However, this process takes 30min to thoroughly reheat food.  One day, we ran out of a ground meat product, so one of my managers, who will be know as Antman, substituted this heater with the fryer.  He poured the meat product into a metal container and set this container into hot oil to heat it up in 10min.
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"C'mon, let's keep it simple, huh?  He broke the rules, I banned him."

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#9
Mr. and Mrs. Opinion
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#10
(12-22-2016, 04:11 AM)Oshakai Wrote: Mr. and Mrs. Opinion

This is one of those "really? did you really just say that?" moments at my workplace.  This story is about a man and his wife berating all the people on my shift.  After taking their order, the man starts up a conversation you cannot ignore with his wife.  He talked about how, "All the people are felons and aren't going to amount to anything in life".  This set off one of my favorite managers, County, and she came close to ripping them both a new one for berating the people who are making their food.  I would be lying if I said at least a third of my co-workers didn't have a criminal record of some kind.  That being said, most of the employees working are high school students, people earning an advanced degree, or are simply earning extra spending money.  Working in fast food isn't a life-goal for any of us, it's just a means to an end.  Most of co-workers and I agree that people should try working in fast-food for a month.  You'll earn a better perspective on your own life, the lives of the people in the restaurant, and learn how shitty some people can be for no reason and why you shouldn't have a negative opinion of fast-food workers.
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"C'mon, let's keep it simple, huh?  He broke the rules, I banned him."

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