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Landline'll Write It...
#1
I made up this game on Facebook, and had quite a few takers.  It helped me to keep my mind sharp, and provided a few laughs at the same time.

I tout myself to be a pretty savvy lyricist.  My challenge from you: Give me a name, a profession, a topic, and one of the 5 following writing styles: Sonnet, Haiku, Limerick, Mashup, or Freeverse.  (Mashup must include the original song - think Weird Al Yancovic).  I'll write back with the results.

Example: Emily... Trash Collector... Toothpaste squeezed from the middle... Sonnet.

Results:
 
 The horror of her less-than-pleasant job
the one she chose to live with all her life
is only superseded by the slob
the one that privileges to call her wife.
Fair Emily, tho never smelling fair,
collector of all things that people waste;
her only sanctuary from "out there",
surrounds her with all evidence of haste.
"Your home shall be a haven", people say;
"A place where order shall prevail within."
Yet husbandry doth irk her in his stay,
his bathroom habits nothing short of sin.
And this frustration caused by manly haste?
The squeezing of the middle of toothpaste.


Another example:  Bradley, Orange Julius employee, childhood fear of vacuum cleaners and/or bathtub drains, Mashup: Dexy's Midnight Runners' "Come On Eileen."

And my answer:

Poor Ol' Bradley Ray...
Sounded sad upon the telephone, he shed a million tears a-trembling.
Called 911, and rang the call center for help...
"Now you're grown, so grown," the policeman said to Bradley,
"to be afraid of vacuum cleaners. Hey..."
"I just don't like the noisy suckers"

Come on and clean
I swear (that Bradley) is a scardey of the dumbest thing.
Your floor is a mess, the rug I confess is so dirty
Aw, come on, and clean.

These people round here where Bradley resides
suck in dead skin cells and pollen they're aware of what his fate is.
So that's why, that's why, at the Orange Julius Bradley
is working. They have such a lovely vinyl tile!
Bradley will mop and sweep forever!

(Chorus)

BRING IT.
 
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#2
Carson
Undertaker/sexton whatever you wanna call people who dig graves
Death
Mashup (Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall Part 2)
 
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#3
Nether
Marine Biologist
Pigmen
Haiku
 
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#4
(04-10-2017, 09:50 PM)firegene Wrote: Carson
Undertaker/sexton whatever you wanna call people who dig graves
Death
Mashup (Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall Part 2)

We don't need no undertaker
We don't need no death patrol
No deep dark chasm for the bodies
Carson leave them stiffs alone
Hey! Carson! Leave them stiffs alone!
All we want is just another zombie in the hall.

(repeated)

(04-10-2017, 10:13 PM)Nether_Ruler Wrote: Nether
Marine Biologist
Pigmen
Haiku

Nether dug too deep
underneath the ocean blue
Now he fights pigmen.
 
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#5
(04-10-2017, 10:37 PM)Landline Wrote: We don't need no death patrol
No deep dark chasm for the bodies
Carson leave them stiffs alone
Hey! Carson! Leave them stiffs alone!
All we want is just another zombie in the hall.

(repeated)

Hey. That is REALLY good.
 
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#6
Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin
 
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#7
Richard
Engineer
A person slowly succumbing to madness, believing that everything (TVs, newspapers etc.) are trying to indoctrinate the masses with lies
Mashup (We Don't Believe What's On TV - Twenty One Pilots)
 
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#8
Nether (just going to do that every time)
Executioner
The executioner needs to kill their closest family member
Mashup (My songs know what you did in the dark) -Fall out boy
 
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#9
(04-10-2017, 11:18 PM)firegene Wrote: Richard
Engineer
A person slowly succumbing to madness, believing that everything (TVs, newspapers etc.) are trying to indoctrinate the masses with lies
Mashup (We Don't Believe What's On TV - Twenty One Pilots)

Yak yak yak!

We can't conceive what's on TV
can dictate just what we believe
It's like some guy named Richard drives the screen
(He's an engineer from I.T.)

I read to know
But news is like what's on the air
'Cause Richard prints the sound, and ships it Fed-Ex Ground
To confiding news stands everywhere.

I don't care what's on the air
I just wanna know what's on their mind
For real, none of this lying stuff!  It makes me old,
But because I'm old they try to lie.

Yak yak yak!
Yak Yak Yak!

Alright.  It gets worse.
What if the truth does not happen?
Do they just change what I've told my friends?
Just hook them up to an I.V.
with Sodium Pentothal; We'll see!

We need to know!
When ISIS falls, we'll still be here,
The media's on the ground, they make their pretty sounds
They tell us, "no problems over there."

But people care what's over there!
We just wanna know the news tonight
Before the spin from MSNBC takes hold.
But because of them I do think twice.

I just stare here in my chair
Watching Richard put stuff in my mind.
I'll never say I didn't fight what I've been told
I'm just telling you to please think twice.

Yak yak yak! (x 10)
 
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#10
You are an AMAZING lyricist. You are REALLY, REALLY, REALLY GOOD.
 
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