11-14-2017, 12:32 AM
Smart Ass Comments I have used at work:
1) Customer: "Do you have (insert product)?" Me: "Yes, we do." (continues working). Long pause. Customer: "Can you show me where it is?" Me: "Absolutely, right beside you." (continues working).
2) Customer, looking at me shopping off duty, still in uniform: "Excuse me sir, do you work here?" Me: "Define 'work'. "
3) Drunk customer looking threw our shelf of scotch whiskey: "Excuse me, how much is a 12yr old?" Me: "About 30 yrs plus fines."
4) Night shift police officer enters the store in the early morning and looks around. He sees me setting out the berries for the morning and approaches in a hurried manner: "Hey, where's your . ." I cut him off with my reply "Donuts and coffee are in the bakery, just down that way." I point. He nods and heads towards bakery.
5) Customer: "You know I can get this for 50 cents cheaper at (insert store name)." Me: "True, but how much will it cost you in gas to go from here to there?" Customer puts object in basket and continues shopping.
6) Me on the phone with shift director: "Hey we are going to run over our scheduled out time to get the floor set." Manager: "How much longer will it be?" Me: "Depends on how many employees are checking twitter."
7) Day manager clocks in, sees me on the fork lift bringing pallets down the hall and asks "truck unloaded yet?" Me: "It was but I decided not to put it out today so now I am reloading it." Manager: "smart ass." and moves along.
8) Customer: "why are some apples so much bigger than the others?" Me, imitating Giorgio A. Tsoukalos (ancient aliens meme guy): "Science."
9) Customer: "If I buy (insert produce item) now, how long will it last?" Me: "Until it's eaten or it rots."
10) Customer: "Excuse me, where do your potatoes come from?" Me: "The ground."
Yeah, it's a wonder I have not been called into the store director's office yet.
1) Customer: "Do you have (insert product)?" Me: "Yes, we do." (continues working). Long pause. Customer: "Can you show me where it is?" Me: "Absolutely, right beside you." (continues working).
2) Customer, looking at me shopping off duty, still in uniform: "Excuse me sir, do you work here?" Me: "Define 'work'. "
3) Drunk customer looking threw our shelf of scotch whiskey: "Excuse me, how much is a 12yr old?" Me: "About 30 yrs plus fines."
4) Night shift police officer enters the store in the early morning and looks around. He sees me setting out the berries for the morning and approaches in a hurried manner: "Hey, where's your . ." I cut him off with my reply "Donuts and coffee are in the bakery, just down that way." I point. He nods and heads towards bakery.
5) Customer: "You know I can get this for 50 cents cheaper at (insert store name)." Me: "True, but how much will it cost you in gas to go from here to there?" Customer puts object in basket and continues shopping.
6) Me on the phone with shift director: "Hey we are going to run over our scheduled out time to get the floor set." Manager: "How much longer will it be?" Me: "Depends on how many employees are checking twitter."
7) Day manager clocks in, sees me on the fork lift bringing pallets down the hall and asks "truck unloaded yet?" Me: "It was but I decided not to put it out today so now I am reloading it." Manager: "smart ass." and moves along.
8) Customer: "why are some apples so much bigger than the others?" Me, imitating Giorgio A. Tsoukalos (ancient aliens meme guy): "Science."
9) Customer: "If I buy (insert produce item) now, how long will it last?" Me: "Until it's eaten or it rots."
10) Customer: "Excuse me, where do your potatoes come from?" Me: "The ground."
Yeah, it's a wonder I have not been called into the store director's office yet.
Just enough of a Bastard to be worth liking.